24 Hours of Lemons · The Sausage Fest · Road America · May 8–9, 2027

Sprockets
Racing

We are a racing team. We are also an idea about a racing team. The car is cheap. The ambition is not. Please do not touch the car.

Behold the car
Ein Auto.Fünf Fahrer.Vierundzwanzig Stunden.Kein Lächeln.

01 — Das Auto

The machine

It was purchased for less than a nice dinner. It has seen things. It will now see Road America, at speed, for two days. It did not ask for this.

Fahrzeug
2004 BMW 325xi
Nummer
[#]
Purchase price
We do not discuss money.
Engine
2.5L inline-six. 184 hp, when it was young.
Color
Black. Obviously.
Emotional state
Withdrawn

02 — Die Fahrer

The drivers

Dress code: black turtleneck. Helmet over turtleneck is permitted. Smiling in the pits is not.

[Driver Name]

Team principal. Believes the car understands him. It does not.

[Driver Name]

Prefers the darkness. Was told there is no night racing. Has not spoken since.

[Driver Name]

Chief mechanic. Communicates exclusively through torque wrench.

[Driver Name]

Rookie. Asked what the penalty box is for. We said "reflection."

[Driver Name]

Strategist. Has prepared a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet is also black.

03 — Das Rennen

Road America

Four miles. Fourteen turns. Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin. We will circle it many times and arrive nowhere. This is the point.

  1. Fri, May 7
    11am–4pm    Tech inspection. The inspectors will gaze into our car. Our car will gaze back.
  2. Fri, May 7
    5–9pm    Parade through downtown Elkhart Lake and BS judging. We will explain ourselves. The judges will not understand. This is correct.
  3. Sat, May 8
    10am–5pm    Green flag. Race session I.
  4. Sun, May 9
    9am–4pm    Race session II. The car has had all night to think about what it did.
  5. Sun, May 9
    4:30pm    Awards. Then, we dance.

04 — Patrons of the Arts

Sponsors

Your logo, rendered in black on a black car, visible to no one. A profound statement. Space is available.

[Sponsor]
[Sponsor]
[Sponsor]
Your void here